URGENT!!! HELP ME, WISE ADVICE….

URGENT!!! Dear Wise Advice, my neighbour, Mrs. Hampsterson told me that you always come through in a crisis.  I don’t know where to turn. My life is a shambles. Recently, my dog, Big Beagle Boy, has been acting strangely.  He drools excessively at odd times and has developed an intense fear of walking on grass. To make matters worse, my friends have stopped coming over. They say they are “busy”, but I KNOW it has something to do with Big Beagle Boy. Can you help? Dismayed in Newfoundland.Dear Dismayed, Thank you for your recent service request. In order to assist you, we require the following information:1-  Does Mrs. Hampsterson live in a duplex or a detached bungalow?2- Has it snowed in Newfoundland this morning?3- How many cats reside with you? 2?more than 7? 4- Have you been playing much John Denver music lately?5- Do any of your ‘friends’ work for the Canadian Government?In the meantime, we will dispatch the Mobile Unit for Drooling Dog Investigation (MUDDI).  With their expertise, Big Beagle Boy will be coaxed onto the grass, or at least the pavement. Above all, REMAIN CALM! and have Mrs. Hampsterson make you a lovely cup of tea.Biff, Juliette, Buzz and Regina (WA intake staff)