Help me!!! It’s stuck in my head!!!

Dear Wise Advice,  I need you help desperately.  I’ve had a song stuck in my head for six days.  I have not slept the past three nights.  Over, and over…I hear it.  I don’t even know the title of this tune.  You know the one. It goes…”I got rhythm, I got music…who could ask for anything more?”  My head’s going to explode soon!   I hear it in the bathtub.  I hear it when I chop vegetables in the kitchen. I find myself humming and muttering the lyrics to THAT tune all over the place.  I was on the #24 bus yesterday.  A man leaned over from his seat next to me, and, to my horror,  said, “Dearie,  I got rhythm too. Wanna go for a cup of coffee”  My boss called me into her office just before quitting time today.  She put an arm around me and gently advised me to take stress leave….or face the consequences!  What can I do? Help me please.  Lorna Muskratt Dear Ms. Muskratt,  not to worry.  Here’s the solution.  Go immediately to the corner of Barrington and Duke streets. At the newspaper vendor’s cart, you will see a small (very small) man wearing a green fedora.  Say to him: “Isn’t it a large day? Can I have the April 23rd, 1965 edition of the Chronicle Herald?”  His reply will be: “Yes, of course. We must keep up with the past.” He will hand over a manila envelope containing a compact disc.  Take this home with you. Unplug your telephone, do not answer the door, do not turn on your computer, and above all, do not eat any pasta dishes.  Pop the CD into your player.  Hit the repeat feature on it and sit down in the recliner…yes, the blue one. Just shoo the cat off it.  The healing process will begin.  I will personally telephone at 9 PM to judge your progress. (remember to plug your phone in again). Remain calm, Ms. Muskratt. Help is on the horizon. sincerely, Alfred Kwasinski (director-wise advice S.S.T.O.P.{Suck Stuck Tunes Out Pronto}Department) 


2 responses to “Help me!!! It’s stuck in my head!!!

  1. wiselifeadvice

    Interesting. I too hear a lot of sounds in my head, but more to natural sounds. The strongest is buzzing bee sound. Even now, I am hearing it. I feel like I am surrounded by a large bees all the time.

  2. Dearie, I worry that you seem quite serious about your condition! Hearing Bees? Perhaps I can send you a couple of volumes which exemplify various forms of comic literature?

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