Blind people’s smart ass answers to stupid questions from sighted people

Yes, I know.   You all expect us to be polite and forthcoming when you ask us one of those typical stupid questions.  Surprisingly enough, there are times when some of us would like our privacy and space to remain uninvaded.   I have here, free for circulation, some useful smart ass answers to those stupid questions  sighted people ask  blind people. These are to be saved for those inopportune times when blind people find themselves trapped on a bus, train, aircraft,  or when attempting to eat a quiet meal in a restaurant etc.  

  1.  QUESTION: Have you been blind all your life?  ANSWER: Not yet.
  2. QUESTION:  You blind people have great hearing right?  ANSWER:  Pardon?
  3. QUESTION:  Is that a Guide dog?  ANSWER:   No, it’s a drug detection dog. I’m a narc disguised as a blind person.
  4. QUESTION:  Is that a Labrador? ANSWER: No, it’s a dachshund.
  5. COMMENT:  I’d have to kill myself if I went blind.  REPLY:  Why wait?
  6. COMMENT TO GUIDE DOG (working):  You’re sooooo beautiful. REPLY FROM HANDLER:  Thank you, but I’m spoken for.
  7. QUESTION:  Those dogs are smart, aren’t they?  ANSWER: No, it’s pure luck that we get anywhere.
  8. QUESTION  (directed to the person standing next to the blind person in a store): Does she need something? REPLY (from blind person): Yes, ‘she’ needs to speak with your manager.
Advertisements

8 responses to “Blind people’s smart ass answers to stupid questions from sighted people

  1. Wow! Hilarious, what a lovely post. Keep writing in. We enjoyed every bit of it.

  2. Some we use (husband is blind)

    Sighted: Is that a lab? Blind person: no its a dachshund poodle cross

    Sighted to friend: Oooooo A doggy Blind to dog: oooooo Its a lady!

    Sighted: was your blindness an accident? Blind person: Nope I did it on purpose, wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

    Sighted kneeling down to pet the dog (normally a woman) “I got one just like that at ahome. Blind man: A crotch?

    Sighted: Does he like women/men/children? (about dogs) Blind: Yes but he can’t eat a whole one.

    Waitress to person beside blind: Does he want anything? Person beside blind: Why dont we ask him? -sarcastic voice-

  3. Thank you! I may use one or two of these in the one-woman comedy routine I am planning to do at our church’s coffee house . My plan was to do ‘sit-down’, as opposed to ‘stand- up’, but now, I figure I’ll rove the stage with my dog…pity her name is not Rover.

  4. Reblogged this on chelseastarkphotography and commented:
    I love this post titled I love this post titledBlind people’s smart ass answers to stupid questions from sighted people. And I feel the need to share. Maybe add more to it.

  5. I love this so much. I’ve got to share this on my blog and add these new comments that are below to it. Course I will add the link to your page as well. Since you came up with the majority of them. If you’d like I can give you the link to my page when I make my own. Feel free I love this so much. I’ve got to share this on my blog and add these new comments that are below to it. Course I will add the link to your page as well. Since you came up with the majority of them. If you’d like I can give you the link to my page when I make my own. You can reach out to me on my blog at http://chelseaannstark.blogspot.com
    Hope to hear from you Chelsea Stark

  6. Dear Chelsea, please note that I wrote that particular blogpost a number of years ago. Some things are timeless, however.

  7. Well it’s still real event now. Great job.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s