Yes, I know. You all expect us to be polite and forthcoming when you ask us one of those typical stupid questions. Surprisingly enough, there are times when some of us would like our privacy and space to remain uninvaded. I have here, free for circulation, some useful smart ass answers to those stupid questions sighted people ask blind people. These are to be saved for those inopportune times when blind people find themselves trapped on a bus, train, aircraft, or when attempting to eat a quiet meal in a restaurant etc.
- QUESTION: Have you been blind all your life? ANSWER: Not yet.
- QUESTION: You blind people have great hearing right? ANSWER: Pardon?
- QUESTION: Is that a Guide dog? ANSWER: No, it’s a drug detection dog. I’m a narc disguised as a blind person.
- QUESTION: Is that a Labrador? ANSWER: No, it’s a dachshund.
- COMMENT: I’d have to kill myself if I went blind. REPLY: Why wait?
- COMMENT TO GUIDE DOG (working): You’re sooooo beautiful. REPLY FROM HANDLER: Thank you, but I’m spoken for.
- QUESTION: Those dogs are smart, aren’t they? ANSWER: No, it’s pure luck that we get anywhere.
- QUESTION (directed to the person standing next to the blind person in a store): Does she need something? REPLY (from blind person): Yes, ‘she’ needs to speak with your manager.