You’re offended/disgusted about Opal doing WHAT?!!!!

Now I’m really steamed! It’s one of those ‘I coulda, woulda, shoulda said…’ moments. I live in a large apartment building. I have been relieving Opal (she’s a guide dog, remember?) on the grassy area by the side of the building. I ‘pick up’ ALL THE TIME. It seems that a couple of old farts with nothing but time on their hands, combined with spitefulness and…insanity? … asked the nice superintendent to “do something about that disgusting sight we see out our window”. That would be the sight of my DOG, Opal relieving herself. My response when Donny meekly came to talk to me? My blood pressure rose and I burst into tears as I fell into his arms (did I mention I am hormonal as all get out?).  So now, hours later, I am doing the ‘why didn’t I say that…’ thing.  Here’s what you two old, cranky biddies need to know:

  1. My dog is a registered Guide dog. You don’t ‘walk’ a guide dog. She needs to relieve near the building.
  2. I pick up her poop. I pick up other pet dog’s poop. I’m not even REQUIRED BY LAW to pick up her poop (guide dogs are exempt from the bylaw, even though I have asked to have the bylaw stricken).
  3. If you don’t like to watch my dog poop, LOOK AWAY, you nutty dingbats! You should be ecstatic that you have VISION with which to watch her take a dump!
  4. There is nothing in the tenancy act about controlling what you view from your apartment window. Do you freak out on the street if you see a dog relieve? And where exactly would you have dogs relieve? They have no doggy toilets yet…thank god, for that.
  5. Now, if  I  was the one pooping on the lawn, you might have something to complain about…but she’s a DOG for goodness sake!
  6. I’m a little miffed when I hear people spit on the walkway by the building. Ditto the blaring radios and noxious odours from the cars in the parking lot that crap up my air. I don’t like smelling your cheap Avon perfume in the elevator or laundry room either. Do you see me harping about that?
  7. What’s next?  You don’t like the Asian family’s language?  Maybe the fat guy on the third floor is not pleasant to look at?  The woman in the wheel chair takes up too much space in the elevator? You’ve already bitched about the poor gay superintendent couple who work like dogs to keep this place clean and YOU pacified. And hey! I tip them at Christmas. Do you? 
  8. Get a life! Get a grip! She’s a DOG. She’s MY Guide dog…and if you think THAT bitch is giving you trouble…

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