To the 3 (three) drivers who almost ran me down yesterday…. IN A CROSSWALK!
Dear Tom, Dick and Harry,
Yeah, I know it was hot yesterday and maybe you guys were in a hurry to get home to the beer and burgers, but you really need to be more cautious around crosswalks. Maybe you didn’t notice the gigantic Metro Transit BUS that was stopped which you PASSED illegally… at a MARKED CROSSWALK? Perhaps you were too busy playing with your radios, cell phones, or your ‘privates’ to see the FLASHING YELLOW CROSSWALK LIGHTS? Was the music in your car blasting so loud that you could not hear the BEEPING CROSSWALK SIGNAL? Didn’t the string of cars STOPPED in the opposing direction give you a clue? Let me guess. The air conditioning in your big gas guzzling SUV was on the fritz and you needed to keep moving at all costs to maintain the cooling breeze? I know. You were thinking, “So far, I’ve got away with running crosswalks without getting caught by the cops, so what the hell? I’ll blow through just one more and to hell with the lady and dog in the middle of it?” Hmm. Well boys, the party’s over. Today, I am declaring war on you. It’s for your own good. I don’t want you to kill some poor schoolchild in a crosswalk someday, and then have to live with the ensuing police investigation, maybe a suspended license so you can’t drive to the store to buy your beer, the TON of media attention (all bad press that will make you feel like a worm) and who knows? even a little guilt? No, I’m shutting you down before it comes to that. Watch yourselves fellows ’cause I have already spoken with the Divisional commander of the HRM police about increasing police presence here. You can expect a police cruiser to be parked behind a bush near the crosswalk in question for a while. Chances are they’ll enjoy pulling you over when they see you race through the crosswalk. They really like to play with the flashing lights on the cop car and hey, maybe even the siren if you are stupid enough not to notice the lights. I KNOW they will love handing you a ticket with a big honking fine.